Today having bargained and negotiated sleep for health walk and ‘Shastha care’ (my little devil). I made my way to the nearest park, through a street that contrasts the plush surroundings I just left at the turn of the street. When my smile was interrupted by an elderly woman sprawling on the footpath, a natural extension of her home. She tried to catch my attention with my new role ‘Aye Amma’, followed by an innocuous and unsolicited advice imbedded in the question ‘veil haakoma’ (translated ‘why don’t you wear a duppata on your attire ?). I smiled and continued a few steps before i realized what the elderly lady had said. And my first response was physiologically an intense wave of (all too familiar anxiety) ‘am I wearing anything inappropriate’ before my ideal feminism takes hold of me and says ‘so what’ ? Until my objective psychologist begins her churnings. After devoting an hour to the rambling in my mind, the psychologist in me paraphrases the churnings as follows.
The advice from the elderly lady was not an aesthetic or weather related advice though it did address the attire. It had a strong subtext and that was to check the ‘appropriateness’ (social or moral appropriateness am still debating).Yes I am a nursing mother in tracks and t shirt that is twice my usual size. And a “veil” is not part of this attire. If it does attract unwelcome attention, I have more than matured in my responses to the same (our society has provided us women enough experience in dealing with such unplesantaries). Such ‘eyes’ rove because it’s their inherent nature irrespective of the stimulus characteristics. The eyes need to be schooled in ‘appropriateness’ rather than dressing appropriately the ‘stimuli’ around.
So tomorrow when I successfully negotiate a walk again, revisit the street and meet with the solicitous elderly lady. I shall once again smile and carry on watching the hurrying world around, MINUS the ramblings.
Sowmya Puttaraju
Asst. Professor
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